I entered the world on a warm summer day in a large box with
mom and my ten siblings. I was aware that it was a large box because I would
wander around and find the tall, smooth walls. I knew there were ten others
because we all smelled different. We snuggled together near mom to keep warm
and fought each other for her milk. She constantly licked us to clean and help
relieve ourselves, and even though her tongue left us wet and cold, she kept
close to keep us warm. I might have been smashed and run over a few times, but
I was happy like that; I had a pack. We knew mom was nervous because we always
felt her get up and move around, but she never left us unless she had to use
the bathroom. At first I never knew why she was nervous, then, that night, I
found out why; she was sick.
It wasn’t but a few hours before that mother’s milk was
sweet and warm. But the milk had turned sour and very hot. Since it was the
only food I knew, I continued to nurse. Mother’s body increased in temperature
and at times she would leave us to sit in the corner of the box. Hungry as most
of us were, we crawled around the box trying to find her. When we did, she
would move again. The warm bodies around me were vibrating, blind and deaf, I
interpreted that as crying because I was crying, too. A few stopped vibrating
and fell asleep huddled together for warmth, away from mom. Exhausted from
crying, I too, crawled to my nearest brother and fell asleep. I woke up feeling
oddly cold. I concluded that I must have moved around in my sleep. I began to
move to find another brother or sister to curl up with and as soon as I did, my
nose felt something stiff and furry, and it smelled familiar. In an instant I
realized what it was; my brother. The same illness that affected mother had
killed my brother. I writhed around crying for mother when I felt another still
body. That was our first night of life and two members of the pack were dead.
My howls had finally convinced mother to check on me, so she
lay down next to me and reassuringly licked me. While nursing, I continued to
blubber into her teats. The others soon joined us and after having my fill of
the wrong-tasting milk, I, again, fell asleep. I was woken by heavy thuds on the
ground and soon found myself being lifted by something strong and warm. The
scent was different from the others and mother must not have feared it for she
did not come to my rescue. I was rolled over a few times by this large creature
and checked from my nose to tail. After being fondled I was returned to mom
where she cleaned me again. It was bizarre being handled by something other
than mother. The creature wasn’t furry or cold and the touch was neither
caressing nor dangerous. As I snuggled back under mother, my imagination took
over as I tried to figure out what kind of creature it was. Before long I
nodded off into a restful slumber. My imagination continued as I dreamt about
the odd creature.
I tossed and turned feeling uncomfortable and feverish. As I
gained total consciousness I realized just how hot our little room became. A
foul stench lingered and I realized that mother was unable to clean our
droppings because it was diarrhea. Mother was also radiating heat and her fur
was moist with perspiration. I was too distracted by hunger to worry at first and
joined my four, already-suckling brothers for breakfast. The milk persisted to
taste wrong and I could not alleviate my hunger. As I stopped suckling, heavy thudding
approached and it wasn’t until later that day that I realized the creature came
to check on mother and to collect three more siblings that had passed. Day two
and only five of us remained. Whether it was the milk or the shock from
learning about my dead brothers, my stomach became aggravated. It felt swollen
and sharp pangs assaulted it. I was then overcome with diarrhea and lost my
appetite.
It was the third day since our birth and I soon realized
that I, too, was becoming ill. I wondered how long I would have to suffer with
these sharp pains and gnawing hunger. I tried to eat, but the nausea was
merciless and the food would leave my body within minutes. I resorted to sleep
to try to block out the hunger and pain. At the end of the third day, two more
had entered an eternal slumber and were collected by the large creature. On the
morning of the fourth day, mother had refused to lie next to us, completely.
The four of us were hot and even the wind machines that the creature added to
our home could not cool us. By the afternoon, diarrhea and death filled the air
as two more left us. Only my sister and I remained. Seeing the two of us left,
mom desperately tried to feed us and keep us alive, but she, too, could not
handle the illness. Near the end of the day, my sister had died.
I was the only one left and I felt so alone. There were no
more vibrating bodies surrounding me, no more brothers and sisters to crawl
over and fight for milk, no more siblings to curl up with. In the middle of the
room I lied and began to howl. Overcome with grief, loneliness, illness,
hunger, and pain, I cried to the world. Finally I cried myself to sleep. That
night I was taken out of my home by the creature and placed on the ground
covered with grass. I realized that mother was not around. The scents were
unfamiliar and I cried hoping mother’s presence would comfort me. Already being
weak I could not carry on with my howls. A few minutes later mother had entered
the area and I became a little lively. It was not until later that I realized
friends of the creature were looking at me to find a way to save me. I wondered
why is it that I should have the chance to be saved when my brothers and
sisters weren’t even offered that chance. Why me? Soon I was transferred into
an unfamiliar grasp. Mom’s scent was no longer around and I writhed with worry.
Not long after was I offered something similar to mother’s teat; it had milk!
It wasn’t surrounded with fur nor was it hot, but somehow it carried food. Weak
and tired, I was reluctant to eat. Again I wondered, why me? Several times this
false teat was placed into my mouth, yet I refused to drink from it. After a
while it seemed like they had given up, for I was placed in a box and taken
somewhere else.
They did not return me to mother and after being transferred
around I was, again, picked up and placed on something warm. The warmth was not
burning nor was it sweaty and a gentle breath blew on my back. I was gently
caressed and had a thin blanket around me. This place was cool and it felt
nice. I then felt something familiar; a heartbeat. This creature behaved much
like mother, almost immediately I felt some relief. Again it offered me the
fake teat, feeling somewhat hopeful, I began to nurse. The taste was different,
but it did not taste wrong. Not long after, the pain in my belly and my hunger
subsided and I was filled with a cozy warmth. I continued to wonder what
happened to mother but the heavy presence of sleep was becoming unbearable. The
creature holding me sent off some vibrations. It wasn’t barking or crying, but
it was speaking. It wasn’t until a month later that I learned she was saying,
“Hey, it’s okay.”
For days and weeks this creature and another one that was
similar fed me, cleaned me, and kept me warm. At 13 days, my eyes and ears had
opened and I was able to see my two new mothers. These creatures were called
humans. They gave me a home and a family. At 17 days after my birth I became
ill and the familiarity caused me to almost lose hope as I remembered what had
happened with my siblings. But the grief that had stricken my new family at the
thought of losing me encouraged me to fight the illness. A week later, I had
recovered. At the age of almost four weeks, I visited my mother for the first
time since our separation; she was right next door the whole time. She cried
with happiness and licked me through the fence. At first I was hesitant because
I did not know it was her, but her scent was unmistakable. My new family had offered to return me but
their friends, my mother, and I knew I belonged right where I was. It has been
15 months since I was born. I’m a German Shepherd, black and tan, 86 pounds,
live with four of the humans, and have four older siblings like me, not
including the ones next door. My human mom and family still care for me, love
me, and treat me like one of them. To this day, I never lose hope and continue
to love both of my families. I was lucky to receive the chance to survive and a
gain a new pack.
